If only you could
by Lady Morgain
Summary: Ryou and Bakura are having an argument. Rating might be a bit too high 'cause nothing really bad happens.


Morgain: (_walks in_) "Hi guys, welcome to my first fanfic on this site.

Jon: "If I were you, I'd watch out, she's crazy." (_smirks_)

Morgain: "I deny!" (_angry look_) "But let me introduce you. I'm Morgain, a girl from Holland, and these two," points at two boys standing next to her "are my fictional brothers, Jon (short for Jonathan) and Lance (short for Lancelot). I invented them myself." (_looks proud_)

Lancelot: "Why does she have to say that? It's depressing."

Jon: "Oh well, she has to be proud of something."

Morgain: "Alright, enough chatter. Like I told you, this is my first fic on this site although it's not my first fanfic. I'm a kind of obsessed fangirl, and I love Ryou and Bakura together. It was really late at night when I wrote this, and it is kind of strange. I hope I managed to capture the darkness I was feeling when I wrote this."

Lance: "My time to do the disclaimer: Morgain doesn't, nor will she ever own Yu-Gi-Oh, and that's a good thing, for Ryou would be in big trouble when she did."

Jon: Oh, and she does apologise for any grammatical errors, after all, English is not her first language. Now, on with the fic.

* * *

If only you could…

* * *

"Who are you?" Ryou looked up from his homework, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" The teen asked confused, scared of saying anything wrong. "You heard me. Who are you?" Bakura observed the teen who was sitting at the opposite of the table. "I'm Ryou. Ryou Bakura." The boy answered him, his lower lip trembling. 

The same question, every evening. He never got the answer right. Bakura was never satisfied so, after finding out the spirit never expected a real answer, Ryou had kept at his name. Even though he was still scared of what his yami might do, he didn't tremble as much as he had when the spirit had asked him the question for the first time. Another thing he had found out was that Bakura would never hurt him. The spirit scared him, for sure, and the thought of what he might do when he would finally find a way of getting to Ryou made the teen even more scared. But somehow, whenever their discussion almost became too much, Bakura would run of, locking himself in his room. He couldn't hurt the boy who looked so much like an angel.

"I didn't mean that, and you know it. Who are you, to make my life into a living hell? Who are you?" The spirit screamed the last three words. Ryou didn't even blink, he had gotten used to this game of asking questions and answering. They would go on and on until one of them would get angry, most of the time Bakura. After a wile the spirit would lose his temper. In that case he would either try to hit Ryou, which he didn't do very often, or he would run away, leaving the teen confused and helpless.

Ryou now stared at the spirit across him. Unblinking, as if, if he concentrated hard enough he could read the yami's mind to find out what he meant. It was almost dark, outside the streetlamps were lit, the wind was howling. Another cold December night. Ryou got up and closed the curtains, shutting the light out. Then he sat down again, not bothering to turn on the light because he knew the spirit liked the dark. Some time ago Ryou hated darkness, but by now he had gotten used to it.

"I never meant to hurt you." Ryou carefully tried to explain. "I never wanted to make your life a hell. I'm sorry if I did." "Well, you made it a living hell. Because of you I can never be at peace, because of you…" The spirit was getting agitated but Ryou cut him off in the middle of his sentence. "I can't help it that we are bound to each other. I can't help we are hurting each other. I can't help I love you, nor that you love me!" 'Big mistake' flashed true Ryou's head as he watched the spirit get walk towards him. Bakura looked really angry and Ryou could see that this was one of the nights that Bakura would try to hurt him in any possible way, not just with words.

Ryou got up again and backed away as far as he could. He slowly walked backwards until his back hit the wall. "I know you can't help it. But neither can I." Bakura's voice sounded deadly cold. Slowly he got closer to the teen who was standing against the wall, shaking. "Are you afraid of me?" "Yes, I am. You know I am"  
"I shows"  
"I know it does, and I'm not planning to hide it." Slowly Ryou's fear mixed with anger.  
"You could at least try to be polite. I would help you know. Maybe we would get along better if you didn't get angry with me all the time"  
"Look who's talking! You are the one who keeps asking me questions of which I do not know the answer! You are the one who turned my life upside down!"

The spirit was real close now, he raised a hand as if he was going to slap the teen across the face. His hand swung forward, only to stop a few inches away from Ryou's cheek. They stood there for what felt like hours. Ryou's eyes where almost closed, Bakura's hand was still in front of his face, then suddenly Bakura let his hand fall down. Just like always he couldn't even touch Ryou.

Ryou broke down. His body started trembling and slowly he slid down the wall sinking to the floor. Once he sat there the boy hugged his knees and started crying. Tears kept running down his cheeks, but he didn't utter a sound. In front of him Bakura dropped down on his knees, his hear hiding his face from view, but Ryou knew he was crying, just like him.

Ryou got on his knees and moved closer to his yami.  
"Bakura…" The spirit looked up his eyes bloodshot. "Why did I have to meet you, of all people on this planet I ended up with you!" This sudden outburst made Ryou's temper raise again.  
"You know Bakura, sometimes, I just wish you could hurt me. Really hurt me, maybe then we would find peace. If you could bring me down completely, break me, maybe then we could life together without having endless discussions." Ryou sounded desperate and angry at the same time.

"You know I can't!" The spirit yelled at him. "As much as I would love to turn you into a broken angel I just can't touch you." Ryou moved closer to the spirit and desperately clung unto Bakura's shoulder with one hand wile the other hand cupped Bakura's face. "You can touch me, I know you can. I know you can hurt me, you just won't do it. Why don't you? Why don't you just slap me across the face, bruise my skin, tear my flesh apart? I want you to, I want you to break me. I'm tired of all this endless mental pain. If at least one of us has to suffer, let it be me, stop hurting yourself, just hurt me!"

"I can't. I just can't!" Bakura was still screaming. He pulled Ryou into a hug and clung onto the other boy as if the world would end if he let him go. Ryou rested his head on Bakura's shoulder, tears still coming out of his eyes.  
"I love you so much. It hurts. I can't help it, Ryou. I have to ask you those questions, I don't know why, I just have to. You're the person I love the most and the person I hate the most. That's why"  
"I know Bakura, I know." Both teens were crying, still holding onto each other.

Bakura was lying on the couch. Ryou was laying against him, the younger teen's face hiding against his chest. There was no sign if they were alive or dead except for Bakura's fingers, softly stroking Ryou's hair. For now, the teens had found peace. Neither of them could tell for how long, but for the moment it was fine. Everything was peaceful. No discussions. Eyes still red from crying.

"Let the world end tomorrow."

* * *

Morgain: "See, this is what I meant, it's strange!" (_looks worried_) 

Jon: "Not as half as strange as you."

Lance: "Alright, lets be nice to each other."

Morgain: "Alright." (_hugs Jon and Lance_) "Oh, and by the way, if you made it through this fic. Thanks for reading it. 'Till the next fic." (_waves_)


End file.
